In a world that craves authenticity more than ever, today’s teens and young adults want genuine connections with the adults in their lives. The rapid technological advancements and widespread use of social media have shaped these younger generations far more than their predecessors. But they have come to value sincerity and transparency above all else.
Young Life recently conducted a study of over 7,200 adolescents from around the globe to better understand Generation Z and Gen Alpha. One of the things we found is that teens want adults who are real, relatable, and unafraid to show vulnerability.
“Teens mostly want the adults in their lives to just be themselves. Teens and young adults want authentic relationships — no fuss and nothing formal.” What does this mean for older generations? How can we cultivate authenticity in our interactions with young people?
1. Embrace Vulnerability
One of the most powerful ways to be authentic is by embracing vulnerability. Young people appreciate when adults share their own struggles, fears, and insecurities. We create safe spaces for others to share their struggles when we are open about our experiences.
We see examples of vulnerability in Scripture. Take David, for example. He poured out his heart to God in the Psalms. “Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting” (Psalm 139:23-24).
We see vulnerability in the person of Christ, who, being fully human, was tempted in every way we are.
Philippians 2:5-8 tells us, “Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.”
Being vulnerable could be as simple as sharing a personal story of overcoming adversity or admitting when you don’t have all the answers. It may be uncomfortable at first, but it’s essential in paving the way for meaningful connections. It allows us to connect more deeply with one another. It’s worth the risk.
2. Listen Without Judgment
Few things will end a conversation with a teen faster than being lectured by an adult. Generation Z and Gen Alpha want to know the adults in their lives are listening.
Rushing to offer advice or solutions is the first response for many adults. But the next time a teenager shares something with you, try taking the time to listen to what they have to say. Resist the urge to impose your own opinions or beliefs onto them. You may pick up on something unsaid that you may not have before.
James tells us in James 1:19, “My dear brothers and sisters, always be more willing to listen than to speak. Keep control of your anger.”
Now, of course, there’s a time and a place for sharing wisdom and even discipline. But you’ll form a deeper trust by showing genuine interest and empathy first. Be quick to listen and slow to speak and meaningful connections with the next generations will follow.
3. Be Genuine
Gen Z and Gen Alpha can tell when something or someone is “sus” from a mile away. So it’s important to be genuine in your interactions with them. They want adults who don’t try to act cool or trendy but show up as their true selves.
In the same way teens value vulnerability, they admire adults who are not afraid to be themselves. Genuine adults are like a breath of fresh air—a safe space where kids can be themselves.
If showing up as your true self seems daunting, remember: your personality is unique. Your life experiences are special. And the teens in your life need to see adults who are who they say they are.
Authenticity breeds authenticity. And young people are more likely to open up to adults who are sincere and genuine. As Paul says in Romans 12:9, “Let love be genuine; hate what is evil, hold fast to what is good.”
The next generation needs adults who are genuine. They want to know that the adults in their lives are also learning along the way. This makes them feel less alone when they don’t have it all together.
As you interact with the teens and young adults around you, rest assured they’d rather see the parts of your life that might not be nice and shiny. Because they’d rather know you for who you really are.
(“Sus” means giving the impression that something is questionable or dishonest, short for suspicious)
4. Respect Their Individuality
In the same way that your personality and experiences are unique, don’t forget that every young person is unique, too. It’s important to respect the individuality of the next generation and avoid making assumptions based on stereotypes or preconceived notions.
Take the time to get to know teens as individuals, and show genuine interest in their hobbies, goals, and dreams. By acknowledging and celebrating their uniqueness, you will build stronger connections with them.
Psalm 139:13-14 reminds us of this: “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”
You are wonderfully made, and the Gen Zers and Gen Alphas in your life are too. That’s something to celebrate!
5. Lead by Example
Actions speak louder than words. And leading by example is one of the most effective ways to show authenticity. Gen Z and Gen Alpha want adults who are trustworthy and consistent. This means being honest and transparent and owning up to your mistakes when you fall short.
One study published in the National Institute of Health shows that having a solid role model can change the life of a teenager. Those who looked up to a family member or trusted adult made safer choices, showed higher interest in education, and had higher happiness scores.
Not to mention, Jesus says in John 13:15, “I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you.”
The next generations will follow the influence of someone — whether it’s a good example or not. They need caring adults who will model a life worth imitating. And your leading by example will inspire the younger generation to do the same!
6. Be Open to Learning
Authenticity is an ongoing journey. It’s OK to admit that you’re still learning and growing. So show humility and openness to new ideas and perspectives. Be willing to engage in meaningful conversations with young people. Be curious about their experiences and viewpoints. Be open to challenging conversations and learning from them.
Authenticity is not about having all the answers. It’s about being willing to learn and grow alongside the younger generations. Proverbs 1:5 tells us, “Let the wise listen and add to their learning, and let the discerning get guidance.”
There is so much we can learn from Gen Z and Gen Alpha (besides how to navigate the latest iPhone update)!
They’re an empathetic generation who wants the truth spoken in love. They’re a diverse generation that represents rich cultural backgrounds and communities. They thrive in collaborative environments and are willing to take risks and innovate.
In the same way that Paul encourages Timothy to not let others look down on him because he’s young, but set an example for other believers in life, love, faith, and purity, we should look for what the next generations are teaching us.
7. Create Meaningful Connections
Meaningful connections take time. But by investing in getting to know them on a deeper level, you show that you care. Your consistency communicates that you’re a supportive presence in their lives. Whether through mentorship, coaching, or simply being a listening ear, your authentic presence can have a profound impact on their lives.
1 Thessalonians 2:8 encapsulates this beautifully: “We loved you so much that we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well, because you had become so dear to us.”
If tackling this list seems like a lot, try starting with one. And remember, they don’t need adults who seem like they have it all together. They want safe, authentic role models who truly care about their struggles, dreams, and complexities of adolescence and young adulthood. As we strive to build genuine connections with Gen Z and Gen Alpha, let us do so with hearts full of love, humility, and authenticity.
To learn more about Young Life’s research on Generation Z and Gen Alpha, and to download your own copy of The RELATE Project report, click here.
To become one of the thousands of trusted adults in Young Life’s volunteer network, or to find out how to connect with Young Life in your area, click here!
Atif, Hamna, et al. “The Impact of Role Models, Mentors, and Heroes on Academic and Social Outcomes in Adolescents.” Cureus, vol. 14, no. 7, 27 July 2022, www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9421350/, https://doi.org/10.7759/cureus.27349.
